4 Signs of Loneliness in Leaders
Being a leader is rewarding and exciting, but 60% of leaders report feeling lonely. And 75% of lonely leaders don’t seek any help.
Why is that?
Admitting to loneliness can feel like it equates to weakness. As a leader you can feel apprehensive about showing any sign of weakness, and view help as an admission of failure.
Sometimes loneliness can be hard to recognise because it shows up in different ways. Here are 4 signs of loneliness in leaders:
- Reduced Social Life
You may notice that drinks invitations are no longer being extended, or day to day conversations become more trivial small talk. You may find yourself purposely isolating yourself because it’s difficult to connect with people who don’t understand the challenges of being in a leadership role. You may lose interest in hobbies or things that you once took joy from, such as cooking, or playing with your children.
- Destructive Habits
You may have some default “sticky patterns” that you fall back into when you’re feeling lonely, in order to cope, whether that’s working harder, drinking or eating to excess, gambling even. A destructive habit is any habit that does harm or sabotages you.
- Overwhelmed and Overburdened
Lonely leads tend to take on too much work and forget to ask for help. They feel they should be able to handle it on their own because they believe that’s what their team expect of them.
- Health Issues
Do you notice when you’re feeling low or lonely that past health niggles show up, or new ones develop? Negative emotions are directly linked to ill health. Medical experts say the impact of loneliness on your health is equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
If you’re feeling lonely as a leader, one of the best things you can do is speak to someone who gets it.
I often hear leaders say, “My friends/family/partner just don’t get it”. The veterinary profession (and running a business) presents it’s own unique challenges, so it’s important to find someone with the ability to empathise and understand.
I bring together practice owners and leaders from across the UK into my leadership coaching programmes, and they tell me that the sense of community and the peer support from other leads is invaluable. Find a group or a trusted peer or mentor to confide in.
Being heard and having your feelings validated can bring an instant sense of relief.
